Dear Herb:

Are you gay cause if not...i hate you because i'm gay!

--sexy bitch


Dear sexy bitch:

I'm not gay, although this is a common misconception due to my great hair and snappy style of dress. I'm also no slouch when it comes to interior decoration--you should see my collection of vintage Kathy Ireland posters! But please don't hate me just because I won't have sex with you. There are plenty of fish in the sea that enjoy male-on-male action, some of them just as attractive as I am.