Dear Herb:

I would like have sex

--Jimmy Gustavo Gonzales Baron


Dear Jimmy Gustavo Gonzales Baron:

Not a problem--even for you, my language-challenged comrade. Just log on to any chat room and hit them with the patented can't-lose Herb Zipper opening line:

HELLO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?™

And keep the Merriam-Webster site close at hand. You may need the thesaurus.