Dear Herb:

I have seen your movie many many times, I have browsed through your website for days on end and quite frankly I feel all wet just thinking about you, but how do I know you really are the guy in the photos/videos/pictures and not some ugly perverted OLD bastard desperate to get into my soft silky panties?

--Eliza

P.S. I will log back on later tonight once ive put the grankids to bed to see if you have replied.


Dear Eliza:

This is a common question. People don't believe I actually look as good as I do in the pictures on my website. To be completely honest, I have done a bit of Photoshop work on those images--a couple of pixels to the right on the lazy eye, filling out the moustache, taking out ear hairs, etc., but I can assure you that I'm not OLD. Come back and see me when the grandkids are sleeping. And send them my way when they turn 18.