Dear Herb:

hey WHORE, suck my dick XD

--suckmydick


Dear suckmydick:

My, but the orgasm emoticon (XD) seems to be gaining in popularity. As much as I would love to suck your dick, I am unavailable to do so. You see, as I've stated time and time again in this column, Herb Zipper is 100% heterosexual. I'm not sure where the confusion comes from, although it's been suggested that it's my expertly coiffed moustache.